My Teenage Years Were Filled With Misery And Loneliness —Convert Muslim

My name is Abdullah Al-Kanadi. I was born in Vancouver, Canada. Parents educated me in Roman Catholic spirit up to 12 years. For six years now I am a Muslim, and I would like to share my history with you.

FEED THE POOR

Feeding the poor and needy is an act that draws us closer to Allah. We earn His forgiveness, mercies and blessings through this act of charity.

“Anyone who looks after and works for a widow and a poor person is like a warrior fighting for Allah?s cause, or like a person who fasts during the day and prays all night. (Bukhari)

Probably, any story is better to start from the beginning. So, as a child, I went to a Catholic school, where, along with other subjects, I studied religion. Lessons of the Catholic faith were best given to me. My parents wanted me to become an altar boy, which pleased my grandmother and grandfather. But the more I learned about my religion, the more questions were born in my head. Once I asked my mother: “Is our religion correct?” I still remember how she answered; ‘Craig, they are all the same, all are good.’ It seemed to me not quite right. Why should I study my religion, if they are all equally good ?!

I was twelve years old when my grandmother discovered cancer. After several months of desperate struggle with the disease, she was no more. Then, at such an early age, I decided to become an atheist and take revenge on God. I was angry with the whole world, with myself and, worst of all, with God. As a teenager, I tried in every possible way to impress my new school friends. Very soon I realized how different the public school was from the Catholic school. Here I had a lot to learn. Here I acquired the habit of scoffing at all who are weaker than me. No matter how I tried to join the company, I could not. I was bullied, the girls laughed at me … For a guy of this age, this attitude was just deadly. And I shut myself up.

Further years of solitude followed. My parents tried in vain to talk with me. I did not want to listen and generally disrespected them. In the summer of 1996, I graduated from high school. It seemed that everything should improve, because it could not be worse. I was accepted to the local technical college, and I decided that to continue studying – in my own interests: I can earn a lot of money, which means I should be happy. To pay for studies, I settled in a fast food restaurant.

A couple of weeks before the start of the studies a few friends from work invited me to move to them. It seemed to me a wonderful idea: at last I could leave my parents. But they were against it, saying that I was not ready yet. But I was already 17! I was rude to my parents, which I regret until now. Sudden freedom blinded me: now I was free to do whatever I wanted. Having moved to friends, I did not talk with my parents for a long time.

Friends introduced me to marijuana, and I just fell in love with it! I liked to smoke in the evenings after work. It was so relaxing. I smoked more and more often. One weekend I smoked so much that I woke up only on Monday and thought; ‘Well, I will miss the day of study, they will not even remember me.” I did not return to college any more. And why? In the restaurant, I could steal as fast food as I could, smoking marijuana as much as I pleased.

My life was just beautiful. At least that seemed to me. The reputation of the “bad guy” attracted the girls – it was not like at school at all. I tried stronger drugs, but, alhamdulillah, I escaped the most dangerous of them. But it’s strange, when I was not drunk or stoned, I felt lousy. It’s like I’m worthless, useless and completely empty. I stole at work and friends, turned into a paranoid, believed that behind every corner I was waiting for the police. I’m completely unstuck. I needed help. Religion could be a good solution to the problem.

The once seen film about witchcraft influenced my choice: it could be a good alternative for religion. In the house there were books about Wicca and Adoration of nature. They approved of natural drugs, which I had to taste. People asked if I believe in God, and I answered: “No, I believe in a lot of gods, not as perfect as myself.”

A friend of mine, a Christian, did not leave me. I responded to all his calls with ridicule. And he was the only friend who never condemned my behavior. One day a friend invited me to a youth camp, and I did not refuse. I hoped to have a lot of fun, laugh at all these “believers”. On the second evening of my stay in the camp, Christians played musical instruments, praising God. I watched as men and women, young and adults shed tears, praying to God for forgiveness. I was struck to the core of my soul and quietly whispered a prayer; ‘Oh Lord, I know that I was a terrible person, but I ask You, help me, forgive me and let me start again.” Emotions overwhelmed me, and tears rolled down my cheeks. Then I decided to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I lifted my hands to heaven and began to dance (dance!) Surrounding people were watching me in surprise: a guy who came to laugh at their stupidity for believing in God, now danced and praised the Lord!

Back home, I refused women, drugs and alcohol. I told my friends,

How important it is to be a Christian, because only so they could be saved. Their refusal simply shocked me, because they always listened to my advice. As a result, I returned to my parents and began to incline them to Christianity. It seemed strange to parents: they were already Catholics by Christians. But they were wrong, true Christians could not worship the saints. I again decided to move out, but now everything went peacefully. Grandfather, wishing to support my “healing”, offered a job. I began to visit the Christian “youth home”. Most of the young people came here, who, far from family problems, could talk about Christianity. I was older than most of them, so I told them more often and tried to make sure that the young people felt comfortable. And despite this, I felt like a traitor, because I again began to drink and meet women. Teenagers I talked about Jesus and his love for people, and spent the night in a company with alcohol. And even then my only real friend tried to keep me on the right track.

(islamreligion.com)