I have always found Fajra prayer throughout my life, because my husband worked night shifts. I had a major operation a year ago, and although I was recovering, I have a pain that is worse at night. It makes the prayer of all five of my prayers difficult, and I feel very depressed, knowing that my life is passing by.
In addition, I am so worried about my grown-up children and husband who do not pray. How can I be pleased and not carry this heavy burden of guilt, fear and depression and worship God, because I love Him? Not because I’m afraid that I’ll end up in hell if I don’t pray?
Answer: Assalamualaykkum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray that it will find you well. May Allah reward you for turning to us. Please forgive me for the delay.
Handed over to Abu Sa'id al-Khudri and Abu Hurayr (may Allah be pleased with them): The Prophet (may Allah bless him and welcome) said: “No fatigue, no disease, no grief, no sadness, no pain, no calamity will come upon a Muslim, even if it was an injection that he receives from the spike, but that Allah has redeemed some of his sins for this.” [Bukhari]
Dear sister, your pain is not lost to Allah. Know that with every tear that you shed, He knows. May Allah proclaim your title in Jannah as a reward for your patience.
Please do your best to set your prayers. Even when you miss your obligatory prayers, make the intention to return them as soon as you can. Come up with a chart and mark it every day to visually encourage yourself to continue. Because of your intention to return them, even if you die before you manage to return all your prayers, believe that it is not easy for Allah to forgive you for your duty.
Do not despair, because your Merciful Creator loves you and wants good things for you.
"O mankind, worship your Lord who created you and those who are before you to become righteous." [Qur’an, 2:21]
It is heartbreaking when those we love do not practice Islam. It is normal to fear for them and worry about your station with Allah.
Although it is impossible, as it may seem, do your best to worry about your own worships. You do not control what your husband and children do. The more you fight over them, the more your health will be affected. You were not placed on this planet to worship your husband or your children — you were placed here to worship Allah alone. You are responsible for your actions, and they are responsible for their actions.
One of my teachers, Ustadha Mariam Bashar, gave me some insight into how a mother can deal with a child (or children) who do not practice dina. She reminded us that it’s quite natural for any mother to blame herself for the wrongful acts of her children. However, she pointed out that if this is true, then the Prophet Nuh and the Prophet Yakub (they would be blessings and peace) would be bad parents (wa al-iyadhu bi Allah). She continued to explain that for perfectly good parents – even the Prophets, it is possible – to have children who behave like they are displeased with Allah.
Lead them by example and through emotionally associated with them. Are your kids teenagers? I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the relevant Yeah! Parenting strategiesAgain, this causes you to set your own prayers and find your own inner place of peace.
It was told from Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered a young man who died and said: “How do you feel?” He said: “I hope in Allah, O Messenger of Allah, but I fear my sins.” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “These two things (hope and fear) do not coexist in a person’s heart in such a situation, but Allah will give him what he hopes and keeps him from being afraid ". [Sunan Ibn Majah]
The more you know Allah, the more you will love Him. Please refer to authentic Islamic beliefs to help you better understand the attributes of Allah.
I suggest you talk to a Muslim consultant, psychotherapist or psychologist who will help you to better master the tools. If a Muslim is not available, then look culturally sensitive. Depression is something that you can overcome, but it is too difficult to do it alone. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. Know that you can eat your family better when you eat yourself.
It is very difficult to be in chronic pain. What is your chronic ill support? Have you considered acupuncture or other alternative treatments?
I pray that Allah heals your sorrow and brings you closer to Him.
[Ustadha] Raidah shah idil
Fight for daily prayers? Last modified: July 31, 2018 from