Immense Hurting of one’s parents (Uquq)

Among the examples of harming one’s parents is to: curse, or insult them both or either one.

Among what is also considered unlawful is if the son obeys his mother in doing injustice to his father or vice versa. It does not benefit him if he obeyed his mother in a matter that would harm his father, because there should be no obedience to a human by disobeying Allah, the Creator. In summary, helping either parent in doing injustice to the other is sinful.

Allah, ta^ala said in the Qur’an:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا

Which means: {Allah orders not to worship except Him and to treat one’s parents kindly. If one of them is alive and old or both are alive (and old), do not say “uff” to them and do not address them with harsh words. Be humble and compassionate and address them with nice and gentle words.}

Allah, ta^ala, made it unlawful to say to one’s parents “uff ”, which indicates one is bothered by them. Allah ordered one to say to one’s parents a generous and gentle saying, more so when they are old. Also, Allah orders to speak to one’s parents in a respectful manner.

The torture of the one who hurts one’s parents immensely is very great, to the extent that one will not be among the first people to enter Paradise. Rather, one will enter it after being tortured, if Allah did not forgive one; this is because it is among the major sins.

The following are two ayahs from the Qur’an that encourage treating one’s parents well: Allah, ta^ala, said in the Qur’an:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا

Ayah 14 of Surat Luqman means: {Allah urges one to treat one’s parents nicely, for one’s mother carries one in her womb with all the weakness that she receives from that, and she nurses one up to two years. Hence, one needs to be thankful to God and thankful to one’s parents.}

Allah, ta^ala, also said:

وَاعْبُدُواْ اللّهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُواْ بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

Which means: {Worship God without associating any partner to Him, and treat your parents in a good way.}

Dear brothers in Islam, The great companion Ibn ^Abbas may Allah raise his rank said: “Do not flick your clothes next to them because dust might come on them”.

The rights of the mother are stressed more than the rights of the father because of how much she suffers during pregnancy and childbirth and her role in nursing and raising the child. An ayah in the Qur’an means: ”Allah ordered one to show kindness to one’s parents for one’s mother carries one in pain and gives birth in pain”.

Once a man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and asked, ‘Who is most deserving of my good companionship?’ ‘Your mother’ replied the Prophet (peace be on him). ‘Who next?’ the man asked. ‘Your mother’ replied the Prophet (peace be on him). ‘Who next?’ he asked. ‘Your mother’ replied the Prophet (peace be on him). ‘Who next?’ asked the man. ‘Your father’ replied the Prophet.(Reported by al-Bukhariyy and Muslim.)

READ MORE: 9 Facts You Should Know About Aisha, The Prophet’s Wife

The Prophet (peace be on him) declared harming parents severely to be a major sin, Al-Bukhariyy and Muslim reported his saying, “Shall I not inform you about the three most major sins?” Those who were present replied, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ He said ‘Associating partners with Allah and harming parents severely,’ and as he sat up from the reclining position, he continued, ‘and giving a false testimony”.

He also said, “Three persons shall not be among the first to enter Paradise: the one who harms his parents severely, the pimp, and the woman who imitates men in what is specific to them.”

The Prophet also said: ”Allah defers the punishment of the sins He wills to the Day of Resurrection excepting for the sin of harming parents severely, for which Allah punishes the sinner in this life before his death.” (Reported by al-Hakim).

Dear brothers in Islam, Know that no matter how much one was keen to perform the five prayers, to fast, and to perform similar acts of obedience, if one inflicts immense harm to one’s parents by words or deeds, one will not be among the pious Muslims. So be careful to treat your parents right and be keen to avoid harming them.

And Allah knows best